Oh, Oxytocin. What an amazing chemical you are. You help us to quickly refocus our brains from the pain of childbirth to the love we have for our children. Is it also you that helps us to kind of forget that pregnancy and childbirth sucks? Are you the hormone that makes all the details a little hazy? I find myself sitting here in front of my computer, 16-weeks into my second pregnancy, eating a “baked” (microwaved) potato (because sometimes that’s all my body will let me eat) wondering, was the nausea this bad the first time? I don’t think it was… But maybe? I don’t remember. My husband remembers me hovering over the toilet for about 10-minutes every morning after I brushed my teeth (I’m looking at you mint toothpaste!). While I remember that also, I don’t remember doing that as often as he does. I also don’t remember the daily nausea persisting as long… Wasn’t there supposed to be some magic day around week 12 or 13 when the nausea was supposed to miraculously end?
Here are some other early pregnancy symptoms that my brain conveniently made me forget so that I might be willing to try this whole procreation thing again:
- I forgot that “Morning Sickness” is the stupidest pregnancy symptom term ever! I would love for it to only happen in the morning and then be a normal human being the rest of the day. If only.
- How about the 2-minute warning between “yeah, I’m kinda getting hungry again” and “oh s#!$, if I don’t eat something RIGHT NOW, I’m going to puke!” Too late…
- Being thirsty. All. The. Time.
- And therefore having to pee. All. The. Time. I could have sworn this all started later.
- Colds are miserable. Add vomiting when you’re stuffed up and you might as well find your little white flag, cause it’s over.
- The rubber band holding your pants together trick is the worst. You get that weird impression of the rubber band on your belly, or it shoots off under the wall into the next stall when you go to pee (thanks random lady for handing me back my rubber band and adding “pregnant?” – how’d you guess?), or you have to constantly adjust it. Never mind! Moving on to maternity clothes.
- Zzzzzzz. What? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I drifted off there, because I’m EXHAUSTED. This is one that I did remember well, it’s just a whole different ball game when you’ve got toddlers at home. First pregnancy, this was no big deal. I had an agreement with my boss that I would take a little cat nap at work and I’d come home and take a short nap on the couch while my wonderful husband made us dinner. Now, with two-and-a half-year-old twins, I nap when they nap (if they nap) or by 5pm I’m a zombie.
- Oh yeah, I was talking about maternity clothes. You were playing with your clothes a lot when you had the rubber band situation, but even when you move to maternity clothes, you still have to tug at them because they’re just a little too big. Which is worse though? Too tight or too big? Not really a question. My preference, of course, is no pants at all. Pants are lame. This is my house, I don’t need pants in my own house!
- I didn’t think the smell of bananas could get any more disgusting. They can.
Oh! And a big thing that I DID remember: Peaches are amazing and you CAN NOT beat a Colorado Peach. Bring on peach season!